CONFIDENCE DOES IT, DESPERATION DESTROYS IT

confident man

I’ve been frequently visiting a particular town somewhere in eastern Nigeria where my firm is handling a project since the past 4-5 months now. Since my very first day here I have slept in just one particular hotel. Today I decided to explore and try a different hotel. So I asked around and I was directed somewhere else.

On checking in to a different hotel this evening, I had a brief chat with the attendant, and discovered it was a very new hotel, they are just 12 days old in business. Pretty new place, everything in perfect condition, looking sparkling. Just as I was still settling into my room, I heard a knock on my door.

It was the manager who stopped over to welcome his first time guest. So I received him, he welcomed me, all smiles on his face. He thanked me very well for coming, told me I should call his intercom line if I needed anything, sounded really nice. I was quite impressed at first. So I took off my shirt and shoes as he left, jumped into the bed, flipping through the few TV channels, suddenly, there was another knock on my door, and I was already getting a little pissed, because I was tired and just wanted to remain in bed and rest a bit from a long day and journey. I dragged myself to the door, it was another attendant, grinning at me ear to ear, “Welcome sir, I just want to know if you are comfortable or if you’d need anything sir”, in my mind I was like ‘Really?’ And I replied with a stern look ‘no, I’m fine’ I banged the door and jumped back into bed. Some minutes later, the phone in the room rings, I wasn’t expecting anyone so ‘why the hell are they ringing my room’, I picked the call, a voice goes “Hello sir, this is the hotel bar, I’m calling just in case you need any drink to chill with, we have …”, I was obviously losing it completely at this point, I didn’t allow the guy call out his drink menu, I replied loudly, ‘I’m fine!’, and hung up the phone. 10 minutes later, the phone rings again, I was like ‘jeeezzz! ogini bu ihe nka?’ (what’s the meaning of this?) So, I ignored the call. It rang again, I answered. A tiny female voice goes “Good evening sir, I’m calling from the restaurant, please we have nice meals if you are hungry please kindly…” I ended the call while she was still talking and I was like ‘what the heck?’

Now this is a pretty nice hotel at least for its level and the town where it’s situated, pretty fair facilities. All the staff are really nice and courteous, I’m fully aware they are all trying to make me feel welcomed, ensuring my stay here was great. But in the midst of all the niceness and caring attitude of the staff and management, what I perceive the most is overzealousness and desperation. They are new in town, they want to impress by all means. Their intentions are very genuine no doubt, but in their bid to impress and retain a new customer they are just silently pushing me away. They were stalking me.

Now why am I sharing this? It’s because so many of us make the same mistakes in our personal lives and endeavors. We drop proposals for jobs and every day we keep calling the client even after they told you they will get back to you. You are scared of losing the job so you become desperate and start stalking the client. No serious client likes that, you will push them away. Clients prefer to see your confidence, if you deserve to get the job, it will show in your presentation. I used to be guilty of “client-stalking” too, until I discovered that desperation and overzealousness never brings the job, confidence and good presentation does. I also discovered that what is mine is mine, the best jobs I ever did, even currently, came when I least expected, the ones I chased with all my energy ended up slipping away.

Some men, in a bid to woo a lady, become too desperate, they become so insecure and scared of losing her, and so they start acting overzealous towards her, they show up everywhere she is, whether she expected them or not. They don’t give her any breathing space. Boy I bet you no woman likes a desperate man, she wants to see your confident side. If you ain’t got confidence then you ain’t got her. Now this rolls both ways though, applies to the women too. Ladies, even if you are tripping for the dude, don’t lose all your emotions to it, don’t let your desperation show, else you might come cheap to him and he will take you for a ride.

In all you do, please build confidence, do your best and learn to relax and watch how things turn out. Desperation never pays. Thank you.

AB Emeruwa


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